LOS ANGELES—Signaling a dramatic shift in public opinion, a new report released Monday by the Entertainment Research Council revealed that more Americans than ever are willing to accept a female Wonder Woman.BROOKLINE, MA—Chomping at the bit to twist the benign statement into an absolutely terrifying image, the subconscious of local man David Vanwell reportedly couldn’t wait Monday to turn an offhand remark by his boss into a dream about a drowning horse.This doesn’t mean that they’re not shallow (they are), but rather, that they are consistent and reasonable in terms of “rating” women’s looks.Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%.CALDWELL, ID—Conceding that she just might not be worth the expense at this point, the Smith family told reporters Monday that they were hesitant about sinking another ,000 of repairs into their dilapidated old grandmother.EWING, NJ—Hailing the product as the most effective means of removing unwanted body hair, the makers of Nair introduced a new incendiary oil Friday specially formulated to produce a controlled burn in the bikini area.Bad Hair I’m not Chris Rock and I’m not here to preach about women with that “good hair”, you know… Or my natural sisters — who think dry and flaky is the new it do.
Literally 2/3 of male messages go to the best looking 1/3 of women.
Let the record reflect that just because men find said issues unattractive that does not mean we will not attempt to sleep with you.
The two are not mutually exclusive; this is a very real disclaimer.
WASHINGTON—Expressing profound confusion and distress at what they were witnessing, the U. populace was unable to discern why an unattractive woman was suddenly on screen in front of them, sources reported Thursday.
WASHINGTON—His heart racing in terror as he struggled to breathe, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly flooded with panic Thursday before he realized the hand resting on his knee during a conference at the White House was his own.
2) Women, on the other hand, rate 80% of men as below average.