Welcome to part Four in my All things teen/pre-teen boy series. If you’ve missed any, catch the introduction, and first three posts here: Intro, Preparing for Puberty, Kids and Porn, and What to Expect When Your Son Starts Puberty.
But here’s a little secret: I like those first three topics because they are pretty straight forward. If your son drives, will he be driving or who is it ok to drive with and how do you work all of that out? Is your son prepared to be physically involved with a girl?
According to the 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, approximately 10 percent of adolescents nationwide reported being the victim of physical violence at the hands of a romantic partner during the previous year. The rate of psychological victimization is even higher: Between two and three in 10 reported being verbally or psychologically abused in the previous year, according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. As for perpetration rates, there are currently no nationwide estimates for who does the abusing, and state estimates vary significantly.
In South Carolina, for example, nearly 8 percent of adolescents reported being physically violent to a romantic partner.
Most of the practitioners in attendance — representing national organizations, schools and victim service community-based agencies — said that they primarily see female victims, and when they discuss teen dating violence with students, they hear that boys are the primary perpetrators. Because teen dating violence has only recently been recognized as a significant public health problem, the complex nature of this phenomenon is not fully understood.
Understanding the role social and digital media play in these romantic relationships is critical, given how deeply enmeshed these technology tools are in lives of American youth and how rapidly these platforms and devices change.And though I am happy to share what we do as a family and why, I am well-aware that plenty of readers will take a different approach than we have. So I won’t be writing this in a “Do this” and “Don’t do that” format. If he plans on being physically involved with a girl, is your son clear on all of the things related to sexual involvement?Instead, I will do two things: First, I will share some of the dating-related issues that I suggest you discuss before your son starts dating. STD’s, pregnancy, and the long-term effects of being intimate with another person.And this is where my series will shift from being straight forward to a little…sticky. Does he understand the effect that drugs and alcohol can have on him and how he would behave around the opposite sex if he is under the influence?You see, today’s post enters the zone of personal morals and family convictions. (This topic of course will be covered in a future post, but as far as it affects dating I wanted to include it here.) 6.Next, I will share our approach to teens and dating. (and a sub-topic of course would be birth control if he is planning to be sexually active.) 7.